The Child in the Family

The title “The Child in the Family” is the title of one of my favourite books from Maria Montessori. Today I would like to share some important aspects people tend to forget about children. All quote are from this book.

1- Babies should not adapt to our needs as newborns. We should be there for them and HELP them be comfortable so they can adapt to this bright, noisy world we live in. We, as adults, are not more important than our babies. We need to adapt to each other in a respectful way with all the love we have.

Let’s remember being a baby is tough:

At birth, he is ejected from this home {the mother’s womb} to live in the air. […] he is pushed from perfect repose to the exhausting world of being born.

So we can make it welcoming for the new baby to arrive in our world:

The newborn child must become the object of knowledgeable care. Even holding him requires the utmost gentleness […] tenderness. […] That graceful little being, whom we overwhelm with material things and who is almost like a toy to us, must inspire reverence in us.

2- Let’s not forget about Sensitive period and Human tendencies. There is one thing we tend to forget when our child is young, she does not like change !! So if you feel overwhelmed by this child’s obsession to see things in the same place. Read my posts (above) about it and feel free to email me to ask questions. I might be able to help.

The child has a positive need to see objects always in their accustomed places and used for their customary purposes. If anyone disturbs this familiar order, the child is deeply offended.

3- My third point today is about what we call misbehaviour.  You feel like your child does not obey, takes forever to comply etc etc   I get it, it is frustrating and sometimes infuriating. However, your child is actually not doing this to bother you. If you are having a hard time with tantrums and what people call misbehaviour from your child, the chance is high that your child is the one suffering from it in the first place, so we need to be the adult and HELP OUR CHILD.

We do not understand children’s acts for themselves and instead continue to see them as forms of misbehaviour.”

This last part is to illustrate my point about how positive discipline is a great tool to see these behaviours in a new informed light and can help you find tips to overcome them or at least help you (and your child by the same occasion) see it as it is, through knowledge about child’s development.

My advice is to go to your library and pick up one of Jane Nelsen’s book on positive discipline. If you feel like it’s never available (very popular these days) or you do not have much time to read, message me for help.

After all, it takes a village to be a parent. 

What do you know about Positive Discipline ? Do you apply any tools from it ? YOu might be and not even know about it !!!

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